I really hate showing my weak side, I hate being depressing, I hate being negative, I hate complaining, I hate swearing but today, I am everything I hate, so please forgive me.
My mindset is not in the right place at the moment. I don't feel good about myself, I don't feel good about my music, I don't feel good about anything at the moment.
Today I went to class, and my guy friends told me that I needed to make more girl friends.. and when I thought about it, I realised I barely had any girl friends.. which to me isn't a big problem but they said that it is a problem if you're in Japan because some guys will think horrid of you if you hang with only guys. I thought I was close with them, but they told me that I'm actually not as close as I think I am with them.. which was a shock to me.. but I guess I always tend to think one sided-ly..
Left my guitar cable in Kyoto when I had a performance there.. now it's a waste of money to get it sent back to me.. I don't like blaming people but this time, the reason why I left it there was because of the staff.. she detached me at the wrong end and left my cable there while the other performances were going on and I couldn't get it back..
Had a recording today, and I wanted to throw up listening to my playback.. it was terrible
Brought all my filming equipment along but didn't get to film anything today.. sigh
USB fucked up while I was trying to save my recording data and all my shit got deleted.
Then I cried. I hate crying. But everything was gone.
Then some weird messed up stalker dude sent me a rude picture of himself.. I've tried deleting and blocking him a million times but the messages are still coming and I'm about to go insane.
Thought I'd feel better with some food.. but I overate and felt worse.
Then I skipped gym because I overate already anyway.
Went home, listened to my recording.. wanted to throw up again from listening to the playback.